Author Archives: pathfinder

About pathfinder

Artist, Writer, Walking wounded.

Walking with Sorrow

  The Sycamore I went to art camp last week.  Its a long story to explain art camp and if you ask me I will try to tell you about it, but what I want to tell you about is … Continue reading

Posted in Coping with the Death of a Child, Death, Memories, mindfulness | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

You died trying. . .

Dear Son, I am working on myself.   It is something I have done in fits and starts, but for some reason as I approach a significant birthday something has shifted.  It feels tectonic. I have thought about what your … Continue reading

Posted in Coping with the Death of a Child | 2 Comments

That time of year

Grief has layers like an onion and quite frankly some stink more than others.   Death and life are all around me each vying for my attention. Recently a friend has suffered the death of her husband.  He was my … Continue reading

Posted in anger, Coping with the Death of a Child, Death, Faith, Family, Holidays, Marraige | Leave a comment

June

Tomorrow is June the 2nd. It makes one month from the 7th anniversary date of my son’s death.    I had all intentions of avoiding the cycle I have seen myself enter each year around this time.   Now at … Continue reading

Posted in Coping with the Death of a Child, Death | 4 Comments

Times like these

Sometimes I forget important things. I forget little things very frequently. Where I laid my phone, or my watch. I find things I value in unexpected places and then I am consumed with trying to figure out why I thought … Continue reading

Posted in Coping with the Death of a Child, Death, Family, Memories, mindfulness | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

the end of the year

I have started and abandoned a number of writings this year.  The overwhelming feelings rush over me.  I loath to admit it is the fear of loosing the entire day if I dare to acknowledge out loud or at least … Continue reading

Posted in Coping with the Death of a Child, Death, Family, Friends, Holidays, Memories, mindfulness | Tagged , , , , | 6 Comments

Every Day is Mother’s Day

My mother used to say “every day is mother’s day.”    As a child I never knew what to make of that.   I am loath to admit I thought she meant that we were supposed to put her up … Continue reading

Posted in Coping with the Death of a Child, Holidays, Memories, mother's day | 2 Comments

Furniture

I have in my studio the one non-office chair my son purchased. It is chair from Ikea. I was with him when he shopped for it. In the Ikea store they have this  same model of the chair in a … Continue reading

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The End of March

Dear Son, Your dad has retired from his job.  He seems to be content with the choice.  He could have worked longer.  He could be like some men I know who identify so closely with their job that leaving it is … Continue reading

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The season of reason

This is the 5th Christmas season since the death of our son. Something about the numbers five, ten, fifteen and twenty and the milestones they represent taunt those of us who continue to grieve, yearn for and miss our children. … Continue reading

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