Category Archives: Marraige

The sweetness

Years ago while in college my son took part in a research project with a professor who was studying a certain warbler. The food the warbler eats had been identified and there was a place in the mountains near Cataloochee … Continue reading

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Father’s Day

The days pile up one by one standing waiting to be recognized for their significance and what they mark in our memory. Every day becomes a memorial day.  It is unintentional. The national holidays, the manufactured holidays all form ready … Continue reading

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Observations revisited

I am repeatedly surprised at how raw my grief is.  I have no gauge by which to measure it.  I talk with other parents who have experienced a loss.   We do not compare our feelings as such but we … Continue reading

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A work in progress

What is in it for me to try and control everything – especially people?  For the most part it leads to feelings of resentment because they won’t do what I want.  The bigger question is “why do I think I … Continue reading

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A Few Things I’ve Learned in the 10 Years Since Jason Died

A Few Things I’ve Learned in the 10 Years Since Jason Died. Not sure what my own learning curve is here – but she covers the journey very well.  Peace.

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January 16, 2012

Dear Son, Your sister was home this weekend.  She came alone.  She left the dogs and your brother-in-law back at the house.  She has a renter for your apartment.  She has stamped all your books and readied them for the … Continue reading

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greater and lesser degrees

The grief attacks seem like a  sort of panic attack.   The feeling is sudden, the thoughts flood in, my son is dead.  He is really gone.  I will not see, hear or touch him again in this world.   … Continue reading

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In All Things . . .

I would rather have the pain of missing my son in my life, than to never have had him at all.  My life would not be what it is were it not for my children. They humble me with their … Continue reading

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In the moment

I’ve only had one panic attack that I know of or can remember vividly.  It happened less than a week after my son died.  I had gone to the kitchen, my husband, daughter and sister were in the den.  I … Continue reading

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Dear Son,

I can’t find the right words to describe this process.  Sometimes it is like being in a vehicle going 150 mph, the world seems to be flashing past and I can’t focus on it anymore.  I wake up and it … Continue reading

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