Author Archives: pathfinder

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About pathfinder

Artist, Writer

Bittersweet joy

Posted on October 5, 2011 by pathfinder

Memory is a faulty thing.  We can take out our polish and make them very shiny indeed.  Were we able to actually actively revisit them, I am afraid we might find them less wonderful than we have made them.  Maybe … Continue reading →

Posted in Coping with the Death of a Child, Marraige | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Enough for now.

Posted on October 3, 2011 by pathfinder

Monday has come again.  It was a busy Monday for me with errands and  business to do.  A good friend met me and helped me with the transport of some paintings from one gallery to another.  The company of others … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

First things first

Posted on October 2, 2011 by pathfinder

I remember when I thought I might be pregnant.  I worked in the OB-Gyn Clinic at a large hospital and one of my nurse friends said she would do the pregnancy test.   I was on the phone in my … Continue reading →

Posted in Coping with the Death of a Child, Death | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

A mountain hike

Posted on October 1, 2011 by pathfinder

Accepting a challenge.  Why would I ever want to do that?  I think this year has proved challenging enough. Writing every day?  Yes, I am being sarcastic. Fall is here.  The mountains are rapidly turning gold at the tips and … Continue reading →

Posted in Coping with the Death of a Child, Death | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Lessons from the Praying Mantis

Posted on September 29, 2011 by pathfinder

There is a cycle to the moods, the intrusive thoughts, the wrenching ache.  I have felt pretty good for about three days and I also feel guilty for feeling good.   Why are we wired this way? Is it the … Continue reading →

Posted in Coping with the Death of a Child, Death | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

gifts of life

Posted on September 26, 2011 by pathfinder

Emotions are running high today.  The high of being with friends for a few days, the joy of laughter and the closeness of physical presence has dropped.  I am at home with my grief again. Grief tagged along on my weekend … Continue reading →

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Unthinkable

Posted on September 21, 2011 by pathfinder

There is an illusion we create of the order of things in the world.   We are born, we live, we die.  Childhood is supposed to be carefree and frivolous, puberty full of confusion and angst, teenage years dire and … Continue reading →

Posted in Coping with the Death of a Child, Death | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Three little words

Posted on September 20, 2011 by pathfinder

We are a culture who likes to “get over” things.  Show us a mountain and someone will try to climb it. The idea of closure is something we have come to think is important.  We are supposed to eventually be … Continue reading →

Posted in Coping with the Death of a Child, Death | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

this sucks

Posted on September 19, 2011 by pathfinder

It is Monday of the 12th week since my son’s death.  One of his friends visited with us this weekend.  He is in fact the friend that was with our son the day he fell.  We tiptoed around each other … Continue reading →

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Unsafe world

Posted on September 18, 2011 by pathfinder

This journey will end when I end.   There is a subset of days in my journey that included my first born child, my son. That subset consists of 29 years and ended abruptly,tragically in an accident  for him while … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments