Tag Archives: hope

resolutions

Posted on December 27, 2011 by pathfinder

One part of the holiday is over and another looms on the horizon.  The problem is that it marks with vast distinction 6 months since our son’s death on January 2nd.   Anticipation of Christmas was worse than the actual … Continue reading →

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The season

Posted on December 20, 2011 by pathfinder

December 19th -It has been one of those weekends where I have been aware of my thoughts much like when you become aware of the ticking of a clock and would like for it to be quiet.  I wished for … Continue reading →

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An unexpected gift

Posted on December 17, 2011 by pathfinder

A friend of mine and fellow artist showed me one of her paintings that will be featured in a show this Spring.  The vantage point was from above looking down on a street somewhere in Europe.  The street arches away … Continue reading →

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a fable

Posted on December 16, 2011 by pathfinder

I am so tired of being sad.  I am annoyed by feelings of guilt when I am not sad.  I think I startle others when I laugh and joke, I am past startling myself.  There is a form of punishment … Continue reading →

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Pip

Posted on December 13, 2011 by pathfinder

I fasted from writing for a few days, at least from this type of writing.  I wrote short poems and a simple Christmas acrostic.  I also started trying to transcribe a journal kept by my son.   I am not … Continue reading →

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In the moment

Posted on December 7, 2011 by pathfinder

I’ve only had one panic attack that I know of or can remember vividly.  It happened less than a week after my son died.  I had gone to the kitchen, my husband, daughter and sister were in the den.  I … Continue reading →

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Life among the living

Posted on December 6, 2011 by pathfinder

Gray the day wet with rain fog wrapped and dripping a heavy hand. The process to be worked the step by step by step the small pool of light right there at your feet all that  can be seen. Misunderstood … Continue reading →

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December 2, 2011

Posted on December 2, 2011 by pathfinder

I have gone blank this morning.  It is December the 2nd.  Officially five months. Yesterday, for whatever reason, I did not end up in tears until the end of the day, in bed.  It is like I cannot go to … Continue reading →

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If

Posted on November 29, 2011 by pathfinder

If can be a conjunction or a noun.  I really don’t want it to have any more space or time in my vocabulary for now.   Not that avoiding it changes anything, but a lot of my intrusive thoughts start … Continue reading →

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Simple Gifts.

Posted on November 23, 2011 by pathfinder

Simple gifts, I have received a grateful heart, a desire to believe, in the Spirit of God, in the spirit of man, in the hope of peace from a proffered hand.   Love from a husband. Love from a child. … Continue reading →

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